Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize