There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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