this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
should my penis look like a turkey
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
