Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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