Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
