I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
