it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
