Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
