You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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