when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
