Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
