the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
