So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
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Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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