I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
third nipple confirmed
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
