ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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