I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
