did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
