Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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