he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize