Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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