I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
