What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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