I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
