i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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