only if we run a train.
done.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
3 2 1 whiskey
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
