It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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