you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
