Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize