i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
