just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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