I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
