How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
