I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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