Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
