he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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