If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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