You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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