Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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