So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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