Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Jerry, you need to find god
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
