I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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