Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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