Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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