My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
