No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
