That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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