That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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