so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
