you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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