You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
