You can't special order awesome
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
