I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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