im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
