Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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