The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
