your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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