I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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