We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
