capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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