lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
