you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
