ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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