One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
